he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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