dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
