u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Randomize
