This girl is more easily done than said...
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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