No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
the gays at disneyland are vicious
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
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