I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
