His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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