just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Randomize
