jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
