So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Randomize
