I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
even my farts smell like vagina
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
