he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Randomize
