im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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