Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
