I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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