I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Randomize
