wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
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