In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
