All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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