first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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