kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Randomize
