Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I'm determined to sit on that face.
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