his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
