Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
