i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
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