you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Randomize
