After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
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