Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
