And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
lol hangovers are for mortals.
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