So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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