I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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