Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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