the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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