If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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