ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
