oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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