i barfeds in our rink
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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