Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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