Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
