if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
