I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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