I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Randomize
