the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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