There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize
