then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
