do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
She's the barista slut.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
