Someone shit on the floor
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Randomize
