I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
