with your own penis?
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
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