if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
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