I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Randomize
