Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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